With each passing year, I understand more and more the things that truly matter in my life. In the last two years, I finally figured out that happiness and freedom to do what I want are what matter the most to me; not a career or a job and not material things.

Happiness to me means both me and hubby being healthy, knowing that the people I care about are well, traveling, doing work that fulfills me, and being the master of my time.

I have been paying more and more attention to how I feel "on the inside", and ever since, I've been working on changing my inner and outer world. Here are some of the things I've changed/implemented, and a few of my tips:

Outfit: #targetstyle old A New Day floral dress. Similar earrings and dresses here and below.

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1. Watch less news. We used to have the news on constantly. Now, we all know that the news is filled with negative reports. The coronavirus threat increasing all over the world, the volatile political and world climate, global warming, and the list goes on; all these reports leave us feeling angry, miserable, and hopeless.

   After watching and reading the news, often we would have long, heated conversations about the topics, and that, my friends, is no way to live. So hubby and I decided to stop watching not only the news but TV in general (yes, we stopped watching TV shows as well, with the exception of 3, two of which are consecutive the same evening). I had a "FOMO" moment for a while but that quickly dissipated once we found ourselves calmer and actually happier without the negativity. Now we rarely turn on the TV (we don’t have any of the streaming services either), and this change really made a difference in how we feel. Yes, we do watch a show that catches our interest here and there, but we try to limit those as much as possible, as they’re time-suckers, IMO.

   Don’t get me wrong, it’s important to stay informed, but not obsessing over the news and limiting the information that comes in is key. Especially this year. Do your research, trust few, draw out the noise, and be open-minded.

2. Listen to something that makes you happy. We stopped watching TV and instead, we listen to audiobooks, podcasts, or whatever we're in the mood for. One thing I especially do when feeling down is putting some “happy” music on: music I have happy memories associated with, rhythmic music, something that I know will make a difference for me; my mood and mental state always turn around for the better in minutes - I share some of the music that makes me happy on my “Favorite Music” IG highlight, check it out, maybe it will make you happy too.

   I can’t recommend that enough - you can control what you want to hear/listen to and who knows, you might discover a new interest or idea in the process.

3. Do at least one thing per day just for yourself. I believe a bit of selfishness is needed in order for us to be happier. I have made the decision to give myself a break when I feel/know I need one.

   What is one thing that you look forward to doing and brings joy to your day? Maybe go for a walk, have a long, hot shower, pamper yourself, read a book; whatever it is, make room for it in your daily routine and watch it lead to a happier self.

4. Meditate. I wrote about meditation here and I can't say enough how important it is for us to stay connected with our minds and thoughts. We now begin our day with a 10-minute meditation session; our goal is to have another one consistently, at the end of each day to clear our minds before sleep. Immediate benefits I noticed are falling asleep faster and sleeping better overall.

   Remove any distractions and let your mind relax, or on the contrary - connect with your thoughts, find what is on your mind, how did it get there, and how does it make you feel? Try to incorporate this ritual in your every day, even if only for two minutes, it will make a difference in time.

5. Ideally squeezing a few minutes each morning for stretching or some yoga poses meant to wake me up and energize my body. It works and I feel much better overall, as long as I keep at it.

6. Surround yourself with positive people you care about and get rid of "vampires". Does it ever happen to you that you are in a good mood and full of energy, only to meet certain people and have it all disappear? It happened to me and for whatever reason, I would still make an effort to meet with the people, to the point it started hurting. Don't make the same mistake! For your own sanity, remove yourself from negative people that suck all the good energy from you. We all have good and bad days and I'm not saying that you need to run away as soon as someone you know is having a bad day, but if that is their constant "state", make sure there isn't something more serious going on. If it turns out that they complain just "for the sake of complaining", distance yourself from the person and situation and remember the selfishness I was talking about earlier. ​

   Also, stay away from the people who act or make you feel as if they’re better than you. You can easily recognize these people by their behavior, and the way they criticize you for your choices, be it in regards to how you live your life, eat, and so on. Example: Hubby and I are generally very organized and like to plan/prepare our time/weekends ahead, and even more so when we know we have busy days coming. With that said, we had some “friends” who were constantly belittling us for not being spontaneous, aka, “leave what you’re doing now and let’s meet” continuously. While we love doing spontaneous things when our schedule is clear or more lenient, dropping things off our “to-do” list on a regular basis would ultimately wreak havoc on our life. The feelings those “friends” brought on because of their critique and “lessons” on how to live our lives were toxic. We addressed it with them at some point, and after them reverting to their “ways”, we decided to amicably end our friendship.

   Don’t ever feel bad for standing up for yourself, friends should uplift and support you, not put you down; ultimately, you know best what works for you.

7. Find something you are passionate about and work at it. How to do that? Follow Oprah’s advice: "Do what you have to do until you can do what you want to do".

I hope you find these tips helpful.

Note: This post was originally posted on BloomingMagnoliasBlog.com on May 13, 2018, and has been updated.

Until next time.
xoxo,
Em