Reflections on a year of pandemic — Blooming Magnolias Blog

Yesterday, March 1st, 2021 marked a year since my husband and I went into isolation due to the COVID-19 pandemic, a whole year, and now another spring of being somewhat close to people and yet, staying away from them as much and as far as possible!

As I write these words, I am still incredulous about it… a raging, ongoing, widespread pandemic doesn’t happen in the United States, right? It’s just not possible, not in the USA... and yet here we are! And with over half a million people no longer living because of it… to paint the picture, that is as many people as it would take to fill almost 5 stadiums the size of the Michigan Stadium (the largest in the US). It’s beyond sad, it’s infuriating, especially as many of these deaths could have been avoided.

I don’t know about you, but even with the news of the vaccine, I don’t feel very optimistic right now… it’s hard for me to see an end in sight for this pandemic, especially as we’re told that a vaccine will not be available to us, the younger and healthy population until the end of the summer… that’s almost another year spent in isolation… and with the virus mutations increasing steadily, I don’t hold much hope. I don’t know if this is what you want to hear… but as I strive to be truthful, I can’t pretend these things aren’t happening… I’m just taking it day by day (something I recommend for anyone at this point), and bury myself in books (and meditation) when these feelings get overwhelming.

For fun, and also to understand myself better, I have been taking some personality tests lately, and though I thought of myself as an introvert, turns out I’m an ambivert. I 100% need my alone time but too much of that is not a good thing. Yes, I’m extremely lucky to have my husband, and after 2 full years now of being together 24/7, we’re lucky we get along and want to be around each other still, however, I miss girl-time, and like anyone else, I miss meeting with people face-to-face.

These days, I’m feeling overall uninspired… everything is old and nothing’s new anymore, and all the days look the same… from what I see online, I’m not the only one feeling this way… Donna Ashworth said it best:

“You’re not imagining it, nobody seems to want to talk right now.

Messages are brief and replies late.

Talk of catch ups on zoom are perpetually put on hold.

Group chats are no longer pinging all night long.

It’s not you.

It’s everyone.

We are spent.

We have nothing left to say.

We are tired of saying ‘I miss you’ and ‘I cant wait for this to end’.

So we mostly say nothing, put our heads down and get through each day.

You’re not imagining it.

This is a state of being like no other we have ever known because we are all going through it together but so very far apart.