Why I'm no longer making New Year resolutions
Outfit: jumpsuit - similar here and here (more here and here); flats here; sunglasses - similar here and here, bag - similar here, here, and here; earrings - similar here; necklace - vintage.
Well, hello 2021, you long-awaited year!
It’s a new year, and even though, realistically, most of it won’t be much different than the previous one, there is collective hope and aspiration for a better 12 months ahead. 2020 gave us countless lessons and emotions, and it sure gave us a lot to ponder.
And with a clean slate ahead, we’re, of course, tallying our successes and losses from the previous year, and making plans for the new one. And that means that many of us are making resolutions, setting goals, etc.
While I fully support setting weekly, monthly, yearly, or heck, even daily goals, I gave up on making resolutions (aka, firm decisions to do or not do something). Why? Because they don’t work, or, I should say that I stop working at them. And, sadly, I’m not alone - this interesting article details it all.
It’s true - over the years I have stuck to some resolutions and turned them into habits (that’s the ultimate goal), like eating healthy, but that has been a lifelong interest of mine, so it was easier to stick to it and make it a habit. Another resolution I crushed was watching less TV - that was easy as well since watching TV during the day depresses me for whatever reason (might have been the beautiful weather we had in San Diego that called for time spent outdoors), and now that we don’t even have a TV, it’s made it even easier. I’ve come to LOVE the quiet - until I begin hearing our neighbors that is, and I put music on to draw them out… just keeping it real.
I used to make quite a list of things I was eager to change at the beginning of a new year. And one resolution that I ALWAYS failed at was and is exercising; failing didn’t feel good. I know why that didn’t stick though… I hate working out. I’d rather give up indulgent foods than exercise. So it’s not surprising that year after year I gave up on that resolution shortly after adding it to the list.
They say that the reason we fail at maintaining resolutions is that we don’t make them specific enough. For example, the resolution of I want to lose weight is extremely vague, since it doesn’t give directions or instructions, which leads to the overall lack of success with it. It might also be that we’re not determined enough, or let me be honest, I am not determined enough to do whatever thing, i.e. exercise.
Resolutions are drastic changes by nature, and well, change is not an easy task for us humans - it’s, in fact, daunting. And when things that we despise are added to that list… that doesn’t help much.
After a tough previous year, especially mentally, resolutions now sound somewhat unexciting… after all, one should make time for healing prior to jumping into “big things”. I consider that this is one of our biggest flaws - not making or taking the time to heal before throwing ourselves into the next thing.
So this year, instead of resolutions, I’m setting intentions of healing and learning. I intend to:
get into a better headspace via daily meditation, (and/or as often as I need),
learn to worry less about the situations I have little or no control over,
learn to respond differently to challenges and unexpected things/situations, and most importantly,
learn to celebrate the small moments/wins, paving the road for a more gratitude-filled life.
Yes, I plan lots of learning for this year, which, I believe, will lead to healing.
And about that exercise… well… I’m setting the intention of having a strong and healthy body through daily impactful movement... how do you think I will do?
P.S. Giving up on making resolutions is not to say that we should give up on trying to better ourselves and/or our lives. I am a huge proponent of personal growth and development, and frankly, even small things can help with that. The best results though, come with consistency. Whatever goals, resolutions, intentions, or whatever you want to call them, you set for yourself, start small, one step at a time, and with things that are easy. Once you conquered that, move on to a next step/bigger goal.
Important to point out - I don’t believe we should wait for a new year, month, week, etc. in order to take a step towards changing or improving something in our lives, or ourselves. ANY day works for that. While it’s nice to begin “at the beginning”- aka, new year - imagine how good it would feel to be able to say “I did this in less than a year”.
I hope this post helps. Until next time.
xoxo,
Em
